Dear Clarinda, what a terrible loss -- my heart goes out to you.  One of my uncles recently had to move into assisted living for similar reasons, so his wife is now on her own in their apartment.  She seems to be coping, but I'm sure she is suffering quietly but terribly, as many of us do.  These losses are so crushing, hard to know what to do next -- personally I've  found it somewhat helpful just seeing what other people post here -- reading their messages has made me feel less isolated and a bit less crazy.