Hey Toni, I just read your message to all members and let me say I cry with you. I know your pain all too well. I can relate to what you said about time only making things worse, NOT "better". I must have said that a thousand times. My 21 yr old son was robbed of his young life almost 2 1/2 yrs ago and my pain and my anger has not eased 1 bit. He was riding his friend's motorcycle when he was chased and rammed into another vehicle. He survived in ICU for 1 week before he passed away. Just saying, writing, typing or even thinking those words "my son passed away", still blows my mind and seems so unreal. I will NEVER accept this........how could I? It will never be "OK", as people would like me to believe. This is a tortuous pain, and I have more bad days than good......whatever good is. I don't know how I have survived this long and I am sorry that I don't have any encouraging words, except, keep writing on this site or others like it, because it means a lot to have your feelings validated and not judged by others that sincerely but unfortunately understand. I will forever be broken.    Sending many hugs to you!