Hi Tim,

Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that lasted me for a little while after Tom died. My mom and sister even said that they were surprised at how well I was doing. Little did we know what was in store! Do you feel like you are hanging in there okay? Maybe having your kids to take care of forces you to keep it together a bit? I hope so. 

I know exactly what you mean about how hard it is to grapple with the fact that we are not in control. I fully believed that Tom would get through this and that I would make that happen - through all of the research and alternative stuff and finding the best docs etc. etc. And then nothing worked. And I didn't have the power I thought I did. What a thing to believe I could control. 

I've found the most peace from reading everything I can get my hands on about the afterlife (I was an atheist before!) and I have had some amazing "visits" and this idea that my husband still exists and loves me enough to come to me does make it a little, tiny bit easier. I hope you can find something that helps you too. 

Same - would be happy to listen if you need to vent and thank you for your offer :)