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Thomas Sanders
- Male
- Dayton, OH
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I'm usually a pretty easy going person who really doesn't take things too serious. Some days are easier to do this than others.
- About my Loss:
- I lost my mother November 3rd, 2007. It was a pretty sudden thing. She had gone to my aunts to stay for a week and a day before she was going to come home, they say she isn't acting right. They said she's seeing things that are not there and running a fever. So I go over to take her to the hospital. Well when I get there her sorry ass boyfriend decides he wants to be a hero and finally take her. Well we get her there and she's back in the er room. I thinking they'll get her back on her way after awhile and all will be well. Well after a couple different doctors came in, they have me go outside the room with them. They one tells me he can see 5 major things wrong. Well, I should say my mom was diabetic and had arthritis and psoriasis. So I guess she had scratched on to the point it broke open and caused an infection. Well, diabetics and infections can turn bad. Well, it did. All of a sudden they are moving her bed and she is going off to surgery. I am so happy I got a chance to say I love you to her. That was the last time I seen her in a conscious state. I can still remember seeing her as she went around the corner and back out of sight. So, we wait, and wait, and wait. Finally they come out and tell me things are not going well. They tell me she ended up getting gangrene. Well, that's a problem with diabetics they are more likely to getting it with infections easily. So coming out of surgery she never recovered from it. She was in a coma like state. She was hooked up to a ventilator, her organs were failing so she was on a constant mobile dialysis machine, and they were constantly trying to remove the area of infected dead skin but they couldn't stop the spread of the gangrene. To see my mom in this state and with all those damn machines is something I'd never forget. I mean, she was only 43...no way would she die. Well, the doctors told me they were at the point where they could do no more and talked to me about taking her off here machines. What kind of bullshit is that, that a kid has to decide to take his mom off life support? My parents were divorced so, it was on me. I said if there was nothing else they could do, take her off. My mom wouldn't have wanted to be hooked up to all that stuff. She told me before she didn't. But damn, that's my mother. How do you decide that? We took her off and she held on up until early the next morning and she ended up passing. But I was there everyday. I lived in the surgery waiting room the whole time she was there. It's been five years but it still isn't any easier at all. I just feel dead inside as if, I'm in a zombie state at all times. It's like I go through the motions of life. Kind of like auto-pilot. I was 24 then and was an adult but, it's hateful to have to have to make those kind of decisions about life of your mother.
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My Fathers Loss
Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
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