Hey Tammy, 

I hope things are a little better for you! Sorry it has taken me so long to respond, I haven't been on here in awhile either. I know everyone grieves differently but I felt like no one could understand what I was going through with guilt and shame, but that was my perception and I'm doing a little better with that. I didn't realize how much grief could change a person and their emotions. It's been difficult with the holidays, I always had her with me. I woke up to the smell of delicious food on Thanksgiving, and this year, I forgot it until I got on facebook and it was all over the news feed. It's just not the same at all!:/

Tammy,

You made a beautiful comment on my page. Those were words of encouragement and i am so happy that you shared those words with me. I was very uplifted read I read the post and I agreed with everything that you said. It actully made me cry but it was a good cry. All in all, thank you taking time to speak to me.

Tammy,

YES!!! It was on Netflix.  It was a wonderful movie, I enjoyed it.  I even cried, If only real life can be that way, when a random radio personality invites you to the station and solves your problem in 45 min.  I've been going to counseling for 3 months, and all he does is nod his head and say, yes and of course.  That Keith was a lucky guy.

Thanks for the suggestion 

Tim XOXO

Thank you so much Tammy, I'm trying...  I'm going to look up the movie on netflix. 

Thanks again.

Tim

My Mom passed away 12/29/11 2 days before her birthday, she had lung cancer and never told my family, we noticed her sleeping a lot and not eating or drinking anything.  I finally called an ambulance and rushed her to the emergency room.  She told the doctors she was in pain, but never mentioned the cancer.  Mom had a cat scan and found she had 13 malignant tumors, some as big as a softball. She was terminal and didn't have long to live.  We took her home and called Hospice for pain management and every day i watched her get worse, she lasted 2 weeks, the end of her life was very hard, her eyes didnt close or blink, her mouth was wide open and the death rattle was so loud like she had water in her lungs, her heart rate was in the two hundreds, her death was terrible, i cant get the picture out of my head, besides missing her, her dying in my presents makes things even harder.  I know we are told that they are no longer in pain and in a better place, but that doesn't really comfort me.  I hug her ashes every night and morning, i wear a locket around my neck that contains ashes, I will not put a shirt on if it isn't black.  The crying has stopped, but the sorrow remains, all I want to do is stay in bed, sleep a lot and have no drive to get through my daily activities.  I don't know what to do.  How long will this last?  I just need to make heads or tails of this.

thank you.yeah,i hope 2 b back soon!i miss u guys!take care:)

Hello,and sorry for your loss.If you can keep an open mind,go to Victor Zammitts' website,and check out his free e-book.It explains every thing about the after life,and when you learn the truth,you will start to come to terms with death,which really is nothing other than illusion.This should help you,I know,because it saved my life!!God bless!

thankyou.i kno,is'nt it so sad how manny people are loosing loved ones?terrible.u have a good outlook,u r right for sure.my cat Bindi is 14 too.i hope she sticks around for a while.her mother and sister are already gone.well,hope ur havin a good evening:)