hi susan thankyou for the message, i am sorry for your loss also, these sudden losses are difficult to believe. i may look into that book and see if it helps me and yes mike is very much around., he was also very funny and silly, to the point i would be just like can you just chill for a little while.. i remember one day we went shopping and he was dancing down the shopping isle pushing the trolley, he would have everyone giggling all the time, this is going to take all of us a long time to adapt to our new normal but im sure in time we will all get there to some degree, thinking of you nicole