Sulagna Bishoi
  • Female
  • Clifton, NJ
  • United States
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About my Loss:
I lost my father on October 30, 2014. He was only 58. Very handsome, healthy and working. I spoke with him on Wednesday and Thursday He was admitted in the hospital out of nowhere and within two hours he had a massive cardiac arrest and left all of us alone. I couldn't believe. He was a fighter, who survived a massive brain injury in early 40s and bypass surgery in late 40s. This was very minor, I was hoping he will be back home soon and I get to meet him in December as I live abroad. But no, he left me alone to go through this unbearable pain. A very jolly person who used to lead a healthy lifestyle. what has happened. He was my friend, mentor, guide, my strength. I am unable to accept his death. My life is purposeless now. I feel like I could have done something and save him. every-night becomes a nightmare for me. I keep thinking about him, his voice just echoes in my ears. I haven't slept for the past 15 days and my family doesn't allow me to take any medicine. At 30, I struggled enough, but I stood strong only and only because of my father. Now I don't see any point, nothing to look forward to. I fight with everybody and blame as well that they neglected his health issues and killed him. Life has been very unfair and challenging for me.. but I took it as lesson learned. But now it snatched away the only thing I loved the most.. I died with my father. I can't fight anymore.. who should I fight for? who should I live for. his memories haunt me day and night... I just want him back, alive....or he takes me along with him... release me from this pain

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