Stephan, I have just been browsing around the site and happened on your page.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.  I admire your love for her, but as a parent we are meant to leave before our children.  I am older and have already lost both my parents, but I am on here because I lost my son.

The bond of mother and child is usually a very close one.  As a mom I would like to say that I think your mom would feel so blessed to know how much you love her, but she would not want you feeling so bad either.  She would want you to be enjoying your little Ariana, and living your life to the fullest.

I am sure you will get there eventually, but it's okay to grieve for as long as you find necessary.  Healing comes slowly, but it does come.

Take care of yourself, and God bless.