Shelley Hellwig
  • Female
  • Hansville, WA
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm a mess.
About my Loss:
Almost 8 yrs ago I lost my 17yr.old daughter to Cancer.The past 2 yrs seem to have a real struggle.I have not been able to move forward in my grief and my life.I am stuck in a painful place.PTSD is what I'm told,explains the self destruct mode.Being "stuck" also cost me a relationship of 7 yrs.

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At 12:53pm on May 26, 2016, morgan said…

Shelley,

I'm a mess too.  I lost my husband three years four months ago to cancer and reading your post gives me cause for some "worry" not in the sense that I care but just that I know how difficult this journey is and it is so understated and misunderstood.  I almost have to laugh (if I had a laugh to use) when I read how those who are still dealing with grief after six months are by clinincal diagnosis suffering complicated grief….I want to scream.  What does the psychology of grief know about love.  It seems not so much…….

I don't want to discount the ability of "talk" as a means of helping us all feel like we belong somewhere again after the death of our love but I see it more as just enduring.  Existing…….trying to make the best out of a place that seems too hard to navigate.  Today I am pouring my heart out by writing.  Yesterday was horrendous and I still cannot believe I am only this far after three years plus so in a way you give me heart.  I know I am not crazy for feeling like this.  We all have our own timeline for how we reconcile loss.  Some of us will never return to that old universe and we are trying to walk in a new one.  May you find some strength to help you along the way……I care………morgan

 
 
 

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
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