Hi Shelley

 Just wondering how you are doing these days. We share the bond of losing our only child and I know it adds special challenges. I am missing my son so much more as time goes on . I am trying hard to make him proud, become more spiritual and try to make some sense out of this mess. This site really helps me get through it all and I have missed seeing posts from you so wanted to let you know I am sending prayers, hugs and hope.

By the way I am such an animal lover and have 3 cats and one bossy little terrier mix dog. I lost my Burmese mix 2 years ago. He was 12 and the best doggie ever. I will post a picture of Daniel and Duplo, the dog. Then last year I lost my kitty Monkey Boy who was also 12 and Duplo's best friend. When I look at pictures of my son with these beautiful souls I can't believe they have all gone but I like to think of them all together now. And he's not an only child in heaven. I had two late miscarriages (both girls) and I just know they are together.  I find so much comfort in the animals I still have in my life. I am so grateful for them. Really so grateful.

I think you should keep the dog if it gives you comfort...the girlfriend will move on eventually, and I think its more important for you to have a little piece of your son to keep by your side to remind you that your son will never really be completely gone from you...I know some people would tell me I'm wrong, but I believe those we love that have died can somehow reach out to us from time to time to bring us love and comfort..maybe its really God doing it FOR them, because He sees our great pain and knows what would help even a tiny bit...with us its music..our son loved music so much..and on my WORST days, I feel he [or God or whatever ...I don't CARE from who or from what..I know its coming from a GOOD place] I have felt a reaching out and a comfort from a song on the internet, or even one day, a sound of a toy guitar in his room....so keep the dog....try to do it diplomatically if you can, but the girlfriend should be able to understand how much the dog means to you and not be a jerk about it..one would HOPE anyway....

Shelley,

My 20 year old son was shot 8 months ago. You not selfish. My daughter and other family members are moving on too. My son girlfriend family took her on vacation twice since he been dead. I am mad that my son is not here to enjoy this life too.

If she ever moves and want the dog, let her have the dog. My son girlfriend took things like his TV from his room for their daughter. I have not missed "things" like I miss him asking me "what we eating or where are you Mama".

Oh Kari, your comment just broke my heart. I don't (and pray I never do) know the pain of losing a child and I can't possibly imagine how lonely you must feel having suffered so much loss in your life. I am truly sorry but please don't give up. Don't allow this grief to become who you are and you can't blame yourself for turning him in. I believe that any good mother would do just that to make sure her child's life wasn't being thrown away. In my eyes, putting your foot down and not being an enabler is the greatest love. You showed your son that you were going to fight for him and that takes guts. I can't begin to know what you are feeling but I do know grief and I know how powerful it can be. Please reach out to people, talk to them, talk to me. You can message me anytime you like. Sending hugs your way. I'm glad you found this site, it's helped me a lot along my journey.