I am sorry for your loss, Sabina. My daughter was murdered in 2011, and it took me until august 2018 when I joined this site before I could even write the words. I still have difficulty talking about it so I keep it to myself because it is not the kind of thing that people are even prepared to hear.....However, I do feel that this is the one place where I can offer and receive support, and I hope that in due time, you will be able to communicate. You are not alone and you are brave for having reached out as much as you have.