"Hi Rosa,
First, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Losing someone you love only two days ago is incredibly painful, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling unsure about what to do right now.
Personally, I don’t…"
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We survive hour by hour, day by day. The first year I felt like a huge gaping hole was in the center of my chest, couldn't understand why no one could see it. The hole seems to have filled in, but I still get blind-sided. I don't think most people understand unless they have experienced it. I am lucky in that I have a couple of friends who let me talk and remember Bill. This site also helps.
It's stories like yours that make me back off on my whining and complaining. Like you, I am 62. I lost my husband 18 months ago to cancer. Whereas I loved being married to Bill(27 years), I just don't see me getting that close to anyone else. Yet, I do miss the companionship...the built-in playmate...someone to talk and share life with. Before he died he told me he wanted me to continue living and find someone. Before he died I told him he was NUTS...I didn't want to "break in" anyone new. I really want my old life back, but I know that will never be.