Thanks so much for adding me :) - I can honestly relate to so much that you have posted here. My father's cancer was also quite rare, and after being diagnosed in April, he passed away only 2 months later. I was in my sophomore year of college, and all I knew at the time was that I needed to be home... I need to be with my dad...I too don't know sometimes what I'm expecting out of this and posting on this website... but I also know that I need help. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to, that understands even a small part of what I've experienced.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dad was my life as well... He was everything to me, and I feel like going home will never be the same without him there.. He was my best friend, my mentor, my rock... he was the only person in this world to truly know me for who I am... this June was the two year anniversary of his passing...

Watching and witnessing my father go through everything that he did... I still can't fathom... nothing I feel know is rational... and trying to accept what I'm going through, and to have the patience to let myself work through it all, has been the hardest thing in my life. Everything happened so quickly... and I still don't believe that it really played out the way that it did... there's a part of me that still believes that I'll wake up tomorrow, and everything will be the way that I pictured it would be...

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and please know that anytime you need someone to talk to, I'll be here. You will get through this time in your life, and the fact that you've continued to perservere says a lot about you character and your strength. Know that he didn't give up, he only allowed the inevitable to occur... he will always love you and be the strongest guiding force in your life... he was ready, and he knew that you could handle what the world have given to you... you have a right to be angry... to know why you are, and to work through that... please ask anytime you want to talk.