Reese Roberts Beckham
  • Female
  • Bakersfield, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am disabled retired and even though I have a lot of close family not one of them has experienced the loss of a mate, which is entirely different from losing one's parents or even a child, I am finding. I don't seem to be progressing and moving forward. I have always been strong and not needed anyone. I am not fond of group talking sessions and I don't want to bother my friends and relatives because they have their own worries to deal with. I'm not sure how long I will be able to hang with this but I have to do something to move past this huge loss. There is so much to get done but I just can't seem to get motivated. Any suggestions from other widows/widowers will be greatly appreciated.
About my Loss:
My husband of 17 years just passed away in early September '15. 17 years may not sound like much but we were each other's best friend and soul mate. My husband had no family so we adopted him into mine. Two years ago he started getting sick and curtailed his activities and we were together 24/7 for that time. His kidneys failed rather suddenly after two courses of Vancomycin and Flagyl to kill the C Diff bacteria. The last 6 months he was totally dependent on me, which he hated. We are both very independent probably because we are both only children. We lived a lifetime in the short 17-years we were together. But, there never is enough time, is there? From the first day we met we were inseparable and not one single day went by that we didn't, at the very least, talk on the phone. There is a crater in my heart and soul and I don't know what to do with this.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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