Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
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Pamela Z Hoffmaster
- Female
- Waterford Michigan
- United States Minor Outlying Islands
- Blog Posts
- Discussions
- Groups (2)
- Photos
- Photo Albums
- Videos
Pamela Z Hoffmaster's Groups
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Losing Someone to Drug O…
71 members
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Missing my Son or Daug…
451 members
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Welcome, Pamela Z
Profile Information
- About Me:
- In a stable relationship for 15 years. Have 3 sons. 34, 30 and 19. Lost my husband and father to my First two sons in 1988 from a brain tumor. He was 35 and I was 32.
- About my Loss:
- Lost my 30 Year old son Justin to overdose on July 31st 2013. Its so Hard to even type the words. He was the most kindest caring loving person in the world. He was my hero. And I was his. He was the peace keeper in the family. The happy one who refused to worry, judge people or complain. The one to do random acts of kindness just out of compassion. Why do the good always die young? As I type this I am wondering if this support group is a good thing cause Im balling my eyes out. But Im going to give it a try. This grief is like no other. It makes you question yourself and things. Like why cant I look at his picture? Why cant I go in his room? What do you say when someone asks how many children do you have? Without having to go into an explanation. Im trying not to dwell. And pick up the pieces. And there are moments when out of sight out of mind works. Just don't know if that's healthy or prolonging the grief.
Groups
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
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Loss of a loved one to a…
3 members
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Grief Counseling
141 members
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Sibling Loss
10 members
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Losing My Sister
5 members
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Losing a Sister
94 members
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Funeral Service
2 members
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
Latest Activity
"its so hard xmas coz our loved 1s no longer with us so sorry on your loss "
Hitting me
My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
"Paula! Are you still online? I haven’t been on this site in years and just happened to sign in today and saw your message. I wondered what happened with you! I hope you’re doing well and hope to hear from you. My email is…"
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Pamela I am so sorry for your loss. In 2010 my 34 year old son died. The sharp razor edge of this pain does ease over time and getting from one minute to the next gets easier. Don't worry about what you cant do right now. Instead focus on what you can do. As to the how many children question, you will ALWAYS be a mom of three sons. If you feel like adding that one got his angel wings then do, if not, that is ok too. Give yourself permission to take any and all steps forward at your own pace. It was the greatest gift I have ever given myself. I do not think I would be in the place I am now if I had not learned that early on in my grief. Take care. I know you will find comfort and understanding here.
Pamela, you are NOT alone.. I pray that you find some measure of peace as time goes by. I have released that whatever you feel at the moment is ok so don't think about why you can't look at his picture etc. For a long time I would spend days reading and re-reading our chats and feel close, then suddenly, I wouldn't go near his pics and some days I would tell him, I am not going to think about it... its all ok, there really are no 'should s'.. I find this group the most supportive and empathetic and it has helped me deal with my loss as all are going through the same horrifying days. I welcome you with open arms and please post and share whatever you want. It DOEs help..love to you.