Pamela Z Hoffmaster
  • Female
  • Waterford Michigan
  • United States Minor Outlying Islands
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  • Vasanthi S
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Welcome, Pamela Z

Profile Information

About Me:
In a stable relationship for 15 years. Have 3 sons. 34, 30 and 19. Lost my husband and father to my First two sons in 1988 from a brain tumor. He was 35 and I was 32.
About my Loss:
Lost my 30 Year old son Justin to overdose on July 31st 2013. Its so Hard to even type the words. He was the most kindest caring loving person in the world. He was my hero. And I was his. He was the peace keeper in the family. The happy one who refused to worry, judge people or complain. The one to do random acts of kindness just out of compassion. Why do the good always die young? As I type this I am wondering if this support group is a good thing cause Im balling my eyes out. But Im going to give it a try. This grief is like no other. It makes you question yourself and things. Like why cant I look at his picture? Why cant I go in his room? What do you say when someone asks how many children do you have? Without having to go into an explanation. Im trying not to dwell. And pick up the pieces. And there are moments when out of sight out of mind works. Just don't know if that's healthy or prolonging the grief.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 4:56am on September 30, 2013, anna l. said…

Pamela I am so sorry for your loss.  In 2010 my 34 year old son died.  The sharp razor edge of this pain does ease over time and getting from one minute to the next gets easier.  Don't worry about what you cant do right now.  Instead focus on what you can do.  As to the how many children question, you will ALWAYS be a mom of three sons.  If you feel like adding that one got his angel wings then do, if not, that is ok too.  Give yourself permission to take any and all steps forward at your own pace.  It was the greatest gift I have ever given myself.  I do not think I would be in the place I am now if I had not learned that early on in my grief.  Take care.  I know you will find comfort and understanding here.

At 9:40pm on September 29, 2013, Vasanthi S said…

Pamela, you are NOT alone.. I pray that you find some measure of peace as time goes by. I have released that whatever you feel at the moment is ok so don't think about why you can't look at his picture etc. For a long time I would spend days reading and re-reading our chats and feel close, then suddenly, I wouldn't go near his pics and some days I would tell him, I am not going to think about it... its all ok, there really are no 'should s'.. I find this group the most supportive and empathetic and it has helped me deal with my loss as all are going through the same horrifying days. I welcome you with open arms and please post and share whatever you want. It DOEs help..love to you.

 
 
 

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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
Jul 21
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Hannah posted a discussion

Does anyone else feel pressure to always reply because you're afraid it'll be the last conversation?

Hi everyone. This is my first post here.I lost my brother in December 2024 to an accidental overdose. He passed away suddenly in his sleep. We were only a year and a half apart in age, and he was the closest person I've ever had.One thing I've been struggling with ever since is that I feel an overwhelming pressure to reply to texts and answer calls as soon as I can. If someone messages me and I don't respond right away, my mind starts thinking, "What if something happens to them before I reply?…See More
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Willy replied to Rosa Guzmán's discussion Grandma sewing room
"Hi Rosa, First, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Losing someone you love only two days ago is incredibly painful, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling unsure about what to do right now. Personally, I don’t…"
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"If you’ve lost someone you love, what is one memory of them that still makes you smile?Today I’m remembering my wife and would love to hear"
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