November
  • Female
  • Windsor
  • Canada
Share on Facebook MySpace
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos

Gifts Received

Gift

November has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

November's Page

Latest Activity

November is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 21, 2020
Welcome Them!

Profile Information

About Me:
Hello, I lost my Dad when I was 9 and my sister when I was 13 and almost lost Mom when I was 17. In Sept., 2018, Mom did pass away.
I grew up wondering who in my family was going to die next so I obsessed about death. Likely from being young when I lost my Dad and sister. It took me years and years to heal from my sister’s death especially. With Mom’s; because I’d always dreaded she’d be gone when I was still young, I was actually ready for. I looked at it like I was so thankful she’d been blessed with 30 more years than she would have had if she had not had the emergency heart surgery when she was 50. She did not see it that way exactly though and she didn’t want to die. She had cancer. She looked to me to help save her. I carry a tremendous amount of guilt. But that’s nothing compared to what she went through so I bear it as I should. One of the last things she said was that I shouldn’t have brought her to ‘that’ hospital, (The Hospice, where they only make you comfortable.) and that I should have kept her in the ‘other one’. (The regular hospital where they would have helped to treat her, but had advised me she was close to death and it was time to move her to Hospice to make her comfortable.). I never told her they had advised me she needed to be transferred there. She thought it was me. That I was just letting her die I guess?
Anyway, I’m here not about me but about my husband whose Mom died 7 years ago. He wasn’t religious then and was actually angry with God up until a year and a half ago. Now he’s completely obsessed and religious driven because he believes it’s the only way he’ll see his Mom again. Everything now is about God. We can’t have a conversation without God being referenced. It almost doesn’t feel or seem healthy. I feel like it’s more of a state of desperate bargaining that was delayed until now because he was very attached to her and can’t bear forever without her. I get that part. I do. But I feel like he’s placed himself into this warm bubble of rainbows and butterflies instead of accepting and really coping realistically. Btw-I was a part of the church way before him, so it’s not like I don’t understand the draw or the way it pulls you in and suddenly becomes the answer to everything. But as I got older, I became more of a realist.
I wouldn’t care what it was that helped him cope, except when it comes to our relationship, I don’t even know him anymore. It’s like being around the church Pastor ALL THE TIME. There’s no more balance.
I’m hoping to find others who can share thoughts and ideas or insight into such a situation?
Thanks for reading
About my Loss:
I lingered for years obsessed with my Dad and sister’s deaths and about death in general. Mom passed recently. I’m Ok. I’ve learned a lot through the journey.

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Rosa Guzmán updated their profile
Tuesday
Rosa Guzmán posted a discussion

Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
Tuesday
0 Comments
John doe updated their profile
Mar 10
Pnina joined Jessica Granantowski's group
Thumbnail

Sole Survivors

For those who are the last surviving members of their immediate family.See More
Mar 9
12 Comments
Profile IconPnina and Manijeh Vafa Homann joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 9
Gloria Moody is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 7
Welcome Them!
Theresa Williams is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 3
Welcome Them!
johnyosin updated their profile
Mar 3

© 2026   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service