Nelson,  This website is a good place to come to get an idea of how others who are going through grief because of the loss of their spouse respond and cope with their loss.  It will normally give you a sense that you are not alone in your suffering and that nothing about this is easy.  You can halfway compare how you might be doing by reading how others are managing.  

To be honest there are quite a few of us who come here often because, like me, we need to know that we don't struggle alone.  And I speak for myself but I am still struggling.  Sometimes more than others.  And the pain?  Combatting the feelings of despair, being overwhelmed, isolating oneself from others, etc are all characteristic of grief.  Each of us find ways and sometimes we don't find ways to deal with it all.  

Dont berate the extent of how much you hurt by thinking that for some reason the length of the time were with your spouse was some sort of gauge.  No such thing.  Time is only relevant now because we are "now" without the love of our life.  And time is going to drag you down to a certain extent. 

Best I can say is to take baby steps and anything you do, even as simple as getting your teeth brushed consider it a victory.  After five years five months I have come to understand that my life is permanently altered and my heart is irretrievably broken .  I can function but only doing small, basic unimportant things.  And its taken me years to get to this point.  Even today I had to go to a state agency to apply for a benefit for over 65 and I broke into a million pieces in the office.  Not just once but twice.......I've given up thinking I am somehow going to be anywhere near normal.  We were together for 35 years and known each other for 55 so there are MANY memories but it doesnt matter.  Today it was a simple line on the application.....did you and your spouse file a joint tax return.  Right away my brain tackled me and the memory of how we filed welled up inside me and I had to go out to the car and cry it out for fifteen minutes. The more involved or scary the task the worse it might trigger but I still cry everyday pretty much.  Something always hits me.  

Be as kind to yourself as you can.  Dont expect any kind of immediate relief from the kind of intimacy and the kind of sharing you had with the one person who was your soulmate.  One baby step at a time.....