Nancy Renard
  • Female
  • Springfield, OR
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 68 years old. I have 3 children and I have been married for 46 years. I was an accountant for 30 years. I was a stay at home mom for several years and decided to go back to college when my youngest son was in middle school. I am retired now. I am also raising a grandchild that is 14 years old. I have had her since she was a baby.
About my Loss:
On January 15, 2017 my husband and I went to our youngest sons (43) home for dinner. I talked with him at 5:25 PM and he was very happy we were coming over. We arrived at 5:50 PM. The house was very quiet and his girlfriend was in the kitchen. After about 5 minutes my husband asked where Jim was. Apparently they had been fighting all day. At 5:35 PM he texted his girlfriend and said "I am sorry I have been such a disappointment to you." She called his phone and heard it ringing from the closet and the door was locked. My husband ran up the stairs and had to kick the door in. When he did our son had hung himself from a closet rod. My husband cut him down and got him out of the closet and began CPR until the paramedics arrived but they were not able to save him. I have so many feelings from deep deep sadness to anger at the girlfriend. We found out that night that she discovered a noose in the garage the day before but chose not to say anything about it. I believe if she had told his family we could have at least tried to get him the help he needed. I cry everyday, I don't like to talk to people much anymore because all I want to do is cry. I really can't imagine why anyone would want to talk to me anymore and listen to my horrible grief. My husband and I try very hard to support each other. I would like to know how long this horrible tearful pain will last and what can I do to lessen the pain and grief. My son was a very devout Christian so I ask myself why he couldn't turn his pain over to the Lord.

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