MomofTeenDaughter
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  • San Diego, CA
  • United States
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About my Loss:
Losing love and affection of 16 year old daughter who's been living with narcissist/psychopath father for two years and has only seen me rarely though two blocks away. Left our July Euro family holiday early after eight days of socializing, saying she didn't know if she would ever see me again in life.

I've now decided to move out of state since my rental house is for sale.

Have been psychologically battered and sabotaged by her father for ten years post-divorce.

My father died November 2012. I'd commuted from CA to NY for 14 months to see to his care, and had given up physical custody of my daughter to do so.

My brother, oppositional defiant and a drug/alcohol abuser, died at 56 in May 2012.

My beloved uncle, always solid, died summer 2011.

I'm now the last of my family of origin and my daughter hates me and wants contact with me never.

I don't know how someone lives with this, I'm in so much emotional and physical pain, living as a mom whose child has effectively been stolen from her with all court contact orders ignored. I need therapy and a survival strategy, and hope to speak with our ongoing psych evaluator this week. I have no idea how someone handles a situation like this, to stay in touch occasionally with my daughter or go silent until I move away and let her find me. I've tried to write her, this week, a combination of my serious drug concerns for her (due to her society) and the hurt she's continued to inflict on me, but she behaves without empathy, conscience or compassion, yet highly condescending and devaluing -- just like her father. It's heartbreaking, for the 100th time. To give a sense of her, she didn't react when I had cancer, debilitating surgery and when my father died (all in one month), but she did say it was my karma. I feel that I've lost my daughter forever, she and her father are so hardened as he's treated me for years with inhumane disrespect like I've been dead.

I'm desperate for help to survive the weight of all this lost, the variety of this loss and to have any glimmer of hope that my life with my only child isn't already over.

Thank you to anybody who responds.

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