Michal Vadney
  • Female
  • Little Rock, AR
  • United States
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About Me:
Professional organizer and own my own business redoing furniture. I am 46 and just lost the love of my life
About my Loss:
I am 46 and have my own business redoing furniture and as an organizer. lost my fiancé October 14 of this year.
I blame myself for his death. Thing is we are both in recovery and he went out used and drank. He called me begging me to come get him (I never answered the phone or heard the message until after we buried him). I was just so angry and punishing him for using. 20 mins after he left me a message he was hit by a car and was brain dead. It was his 50th birthday and he had just proposed 10 days earlier. I’m so sad and sick every day bc if I would have answered his call and gone to pick him up he would not have been walking home and hit by the car. I am struggling with forgiving myself. I don’t have a lot of support bc as someone said it was just my fiancé and he can be replaced. This came from someone that had lost their child and I see her point but it still is extremely painful and I miss him so much. I can’t forgive myself and I don’t know what to do.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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