Watching my mom die right in front of me changed me forever. Since her death, I haven't been able to stay at a job very long without feeling dead-ended and hopeless about a future with the company. I started getting anxiety attacks and was so tense I could barely function at times. Over the years, until dad died, I got slowly better. Then when dad died suddenly, it all started over again. Worse panic, so bad that I haven't been able to work since 2008. I went through a serious depression and stopped taking care of my health. I gained a ton of weight, stopped showering, brushing my teeth, everything. I tried different medications,  but all I got were horrible side effects. No relief. I started taking care of my hygiene again, but did so much damage to my teeth that I ended up losing them all. I have been without teeth since late 2005. Can't work, so I can't get dentures. I eat like a newborn. This has my quality of life and social life extremely compromised. I am very depressed that I can't break out of this anxious lifestyle I'm in. I need dentures so badly that I cry at night, fearful that I'll die before getting to know what it's like to eat and look normal again. I have evened out a little since 2008, but still can't work. I get claustrophobic being pent up in a place I can't leave when I want to. I panic. I've lost countless jobs from this. I have a horrible work history now and can't get a job even if I could work one. Luckily a friend has allowed me to stay with him until I get my life back together. I am completely stressing him out though, like I did my entire family. Nobody wants to be around me for very long and I certainly don't blame them one bit. Is this how my life is going to end? How did I ever become like this? What did watching my mom die in front of me trigger within myself? Is it something else entirely? I take no medication, other than an occasional Xanax (only when needed). I see no counselor, due to no insurance, no money. I am seriously stagnated and want OUT of this mess. Can anyone point me in a direction that may help me?