sorry for your loss I lost my husband feb 2016 its been rough I was married 44yrs

You sound very much in the same spot I am in.  I lost my husband Oct 15, 2016 and I am just trying to make it to this coming Oct for a short cruise to Catalina and Mexico with my family.  After that, I am hoping I will have some relief from the loneliness and overwhelming sadness I am feeling now because I don't think I can live like this for very long.  My son, my only child just went through a divorce and I have no support from him and I was a child who was passed off to different relatives because my mother was an alcoholic so I have no close family except for my cousins I lived with from age 13 until I got married.  The only happiness I had in life was with my husband of 50 years and now he is gone.

I'm glad you are getting some help.  If you have the resources, take advantage of it.  Therapy and medication on the basis you describe is a real opportunity to get back on your feet.  There's no cure for what we're going through but at least we can try to learn to cope the best we can.  Let us know how it goes.

Hey Michael, as much as I try to hide my pain I just can't. It gets to the point at times where it feels like I'm gonna have a breakdown because I can't handle it. It truly helps to talk with other people who truly understand this pain. take care my friend.

A psychiatrist had me on so much Xanax the first 4 months that I wasn't even counting how many.  I think that's how managed to take care of what I had to and load up and move.  For over a year, I didn't drink at all.  I finally got off Xanax a year ago in January and started drinking too much beer.  I have lost 30 pounds, gained 40, and lost 30 over the past 18 months.  I'm healthy and feel I'm throwing that away by being so inactive.  It's not by choice.  This has been a rollercoaster ride through hell and I'm trapped most of the time.