Linda Gillotti
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  • United States
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About Me:
I am on ANTIDEPRESSANTS BUT LIVE NORMALLY DAY TO Day.\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\



I am on antidepressant but live normally day by day.I do get upset easily but not usually,except when my mom died.My sister knows how I am.I love animals more than most people.I go out of my way to help any animal if I can.I have a dog and 2 cats.Mt dog is 12 years old.Hes a happy dog.He does have a bad knee,but so far so good.He is like my son.I am afraid to lose him.
About my Loss:
My mother was my sister and my best friend.She was the best mother in the world to us(very close)She had a heart attack in 2008.Unexpected.She doesn't smoke or drink.Stress maybe.2 days before Christmas 2008.She had very mild dementia,people couldn't tell.She had a triple bypass.After the surgery her dementia got much worse.My sister made her walk everyday and go to the doctor for regular visits.She fought my sister all the way.It was bad.She was on meds.She never followed thru with walking or physical therapy.My sister and I didn't know how crazy she was.We talked on the phone,well my sister did everyday.Didnt see her much but we would go over.Not me too much.With my depression it was hard for me.I just didn't follow thru on minor things.Her man friend stayed for 2 years and 8 months.He called my sister one night at midnight and said that's it she is all yours.I cant take it anymore.He left.My sister and I were with her everyday and I was sleeping over most nights.Neighbors would make comments.she fell,walks in the middle of the road.Neighbors very concerned.I could go on and on but we had no choice we had to put her in a nursing home.I wanted her to live with me and my brother in law got her to my house and within 15 minutes she said take me homne or I'M walking.We did.She is a wanderer and the doctor said she can not live with anyone.Wandering is a problem .Its not safe.She stopped eating about a month before.She went to hospital on Sept 1st and returned to nursing home on Sept 6th.I was at the hospital everyday.I did not go when she was being discharged.My sister didn't either.That haunts me.She went to hosp blood pressure was down to 40,they got it back up.She hadkidney failure chf,anemic,a mild pneumonia. but cleared her lungs,.she died over nite one week later the nite before she fell.My sister was power of attorney so she gets all the news but told me everything.The Saturday before she died my sister insisted I come with her to see my mom.I told her I would go later.She insisted.When we got out of elevator my sisters face turned bright red and said I forgot to tell you mom fell last night.She said she couldn't tell me driving there because I was talking too much.Not true.When we got there mom was in wheelchair in the laying down position and she said i'm so glad you 2 are here.They had to lift her whole body to adjust the chair up.We went into the private room.We talked.She went over to the window and said well this will be the last time I see outside(she has never said that.)She also told us about her fall last night.wE DIDNT STAY THAT LONG.Mom was tired.We wheeled her into the hall.She was in laying down position again.I didn't even kiss her goodbye.Early morning Sunday my sister called and said mom is unresponsive.We will meet you at hospital.My sisters family was there and my husband and I.We went in the room to see her.They walked out after looking at her and went back in waiting room.Everyone was sad.My niece had tears in her eyes.I stayed with my mom.I was hysterical crying for awhile.There was a nurse in the room.She was cremated.We saw her again at funeral home.Same reaction.I feel my sister is holding things back because she didn't want to upset me.I need closure.My sister doesn't want to talk about this.I could talk to my niece,she is a social worker,but I feel it should come from my sister.What should I do.I am still grieving and need the truth about everything.My sister gets mad easily.
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