Linda,

I know exactly how you feel.  My husband Joe passed away on December 3rd of this year while waiting for a heart transplant on the UNOS list.  We lost our home and had just moved into an apartment three weeks before his death.  My son and I are going today to move my things out of the apartment and put most of it in storage.  I really don't know how I am going to react but I'll get through it somehow.  My husband also had no life insurance due to his health condition.  I had some money saved but not enough to pay for his funeral.  I had to borrow money that I have no idea how I'm going to pay back.  I left my job in July to care for him as he grew weaker and weaker.  I have no strength right now and I don't know when I'm going to be able to go out and look for a job.  I'm sure an unexpected death is much more traumatic but I went through three years of heartache prior to my husband's death watching him fight so bravely to live.  I have had to move in with my sister and her family because I don't even get any widows benefits for over 1 year.  I am 59 and live in the Chicago area.  I would love to share my email address with you so we could try in some way to comfort each other.  None of my friends have lost their spouses they they don't really know how I feel. The pain seems unbearable right now.  I am also caring for my mother who is 84 and in the stage of mid dimentia.  It's difficult for me to deal with her when my nerves are screaming inside me.  I also worked in administrative positions all my life as a medical office manager.  It sounds like we have a lot in common.  You can email me anytime of the day or night @ trishj69@gmail.com.  It sounds like we have a lot in common.   I'm awake 1/2 the night and maybe we can chat.  Thinking about you and hoping for better days for both of us.  Pat Jones.