Lena
  • Female
  • Lancaster, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 19 years old. I am lost I have gone through my entire life being told who to be to the point were I don't know who I am. My time is spent trying to make people happy. I always down my self before I do things because I have been told that I am not good enough. As a child I was bullied by kids my age as well as adults for being to skinny and being taller then the "normal" kid my age was supposed to be. So then I gained weight and now I am constantly reminded of how much weight I have gained. Even through all of the things people have put me through I still try to see good in people I constantly think about other people before I do my self. And I hate that about myself. I no longer want to be people stepping stone I want respect. I want to find me.
About my Loss:
I lost my younger brother in 2009. When it happened it was the worst feeling that could come over me. What hurt the most was the last time I smoke with him I was angry with him and I yelled at him and told him I was done with him. After he left for school I thought about running after him to say sorry but I didn't. So when my dad called to tell us he had been hit by a train three days later I was so sad because I no longer had that chance to apologize to my brother In no longer had a chance to make up with him. I don't get the privilege of seeing him again. So for almost a year after he died I could not look in a mirror because when I looked at myself I seen him. There were little things that at did that I could no longer do without fighting back tears cause I could picture him there bugging me. Even though its been almost 4 years since his death the cut is still fresh.

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