Lana
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About Me:
I lost my Husband Sept.7 2014. It has been the worst time of my entire life. He lost his battle with Colon Cancer when it returned 4 years later in his Liver and Lungs. When the Dr. came into the room he said buddy your Cancer is back it's in your Liver and Lungs I put my hands over my face and just sobbed, looking at my husband he stared as if a freight train was hitting head on. We did everything we could think of as alternative Cancer treatments such as plant based diet, Cannibis oil, Juicing, you name it. We truly believed he would beat this. Chemo would have only given him 2 years maybe the Dr. said. He was 6'2" 240lbs. He wasted away slowly, turning yellow and very frail toward the end. I never would have imagined this. My most beautiful man, inside and out was leaving me and there was nothing I could do, nothing! I truly did not want to believe this was happening. I truly was in denial til the end.
About my Loss:
My life feels completely over, nothing feels worth my time, from getting dressed to cleaning the house it feels all in vain. Everything we did we did together, Garage sales, Estate sales, Ebay. I dressed for him and he loved it. I would put something on to wear and he would come downstairs in something that would match me. He was my best friend both of us knew each other so well, now I dont care, now nothing seems to matter. My life is a series of disconnections with my brain and I can't make a connection. When people talk to me I can't seem to get the words that make sense. On my days off I just sit read and watch near death experiences on my PC. I want to hope, I want to know, I want to be with him again. I wanted to die, I don't want to be here and nobody understands. I'am here because of my kids, they are all I do now. My life is over except for them. I'm hoping I don't live to and old age. I envy old people when I see them. I know there is an afterlife, and I have to wait. The hardest part is how long???

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Latest Activity

david karpe posted a status
"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
7 hours ago
david karpe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
10 hours ago
Sasha Moshko posted a discussion

My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward.Β https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
yesterday
Sasha Moshko left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time.Β https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
yesterday
MELANIE WALENDOWSKY BAKER is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Krystal Swinehart joined Jodi Denton's group
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Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Monday
Krystal Swinehart joined Dayna's group
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Monday
Karen R. replied to Entony's discussion Movies about grief that actually understand loss — any recommendations?
"So sorry!πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”"
Jan 2

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