Hugs to you and the kids. Pain will be forever, live him through those beautiful children, and take your moments that will come often, sudden and a triple ton of weight. It's not "fair", it's not "right", but it is what you have now. To understand, is not possible, you will make it with their love and his memories, they need you more than ever now, and you too need them. Take every minute slowly and carefully. (((hugs)))