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Kristina M. Paddock
- Drayden, MD
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- Mother of 2 daughters. 14 and 13. 20 years in customer service. I love music, mother nature, and my children.
- About my Loss:
- I lost my mom to Multiple Myeloma Cancer on Dec. 30, 2016. We are birthday twins... 2017 she would have been 60 when I turned 35. This year has been incredibly difficult emotionally. With the Holidays approaching full force all I can do is think about this time last year. Knowing that it was her last Thanksgiving and Christmas... See I was one of the children that took care of her the majority of the time in her last 7 weeks... I am very paralyzed right now. It is difficult for me to even go grocery shopping or just out of the house. I physically just cannot. This type of loss is impossible to heal from. I just really do not want bring everyone else down this year, but I am. Then I sit at home and feel bad about feeling bad. I also lived and raised my daughters with my mom. I am just so incomplete without her.
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Groups
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
45 members
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Loss of a loved one to a…
3 members
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Grief Counseling
141 members
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Sibling Loss
10 members
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Losing My Sister
5 members
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Losing a Sister
94 members
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Funeral Service
2 members
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
Latest Activity
"its so hard xmas coz our loved 1s no longer with us so sorry on your loss "
Hitting me
My daughter did MAID last Tuesday and I've been holding up okay.But just now the Christmas convoy (trucks all lit up that do an organized drive through our small town) went by and suddenly I just started crying, thinking how my girl won't be around to have these small moments. And not that she would have - she wasn't a huge Christmas or celebration person. So I don't know why I'm sitting here crying about it.Oh this is going to hurt a lot :-(See More
"Paula! Are you still online? I haven’t been on this site in years and just happened to sign in today and saw your message. I wondered what happened with you! I hope you’re doing well and hope to hear from you. My email is…"
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Kristina, I don't want to make you feel bad but what you are experiencing is so normal for traumatic loss. The part of feeling paralyzed, difficult to go shopping, or just out of the house. Feeling it physically. I know I have felt the same way and I am still working on how I am going to continue stay afloat constantly feeling the loss. I could write a book about how i have tried to endure and all I can say is "one minute at a time". Only do what is right in front of you. Every day, one minute at a time. And be ok with whatever that is, because when loss hits that's all we can do. Take care.
I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away Feb 14 of this year. I still grieve deeply for her. The holidays can be hard for all of us that have recently lost a loved one. Someone once said to mean "You honor someone when you grieve." I think he was trying to say it is okay and normal to grieve someone you loved very much. What I have learned through my loss and by participating on this online grief support, is there is no timeline as to when your grief begins and ends.
Hugs,
Bluebell