Kristina M. Paddock
  • Drayden, MD
  • United States
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About Me:
Mother of 2 daughters. 14 and 13. 20 years in customer service. I love music, mother nature, and my children.
About my Loss:
I lost my mom to Multiple Myeloma Cancer on Dec. 30, 2016. We are birthday twins... 2017 she would have been 60 when I turned 35. This year has been incredibly difficult emotionally. With the Holidays approaching full force all I can do is think about this time last year. Knowing that it was her last Thanksgiving and Christmas... See I was one of the children that took care of her the majority of the time in her last 7 weeks... I am very paralyzed right now. It is difficult for me to even go grocery shopping or just out of the house. I physically just cannot. This type of loss is impossible to heal from. I just really do not want bring everyone else down this year, but I am. Then I sit at home and feel bad about feeling bad. I also lived and raised my daughters with my mom. I am just so incomplete without her.

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At 2:20pm on November 21, 2017, morgan said…

Kristina,  I don't want to make you feel bad but what you are experiencing is so normal for traumatic loss.  The part of feeling paralyzed, difficult to go shopping, or just out of the house.  Feeling it physically.  I know I have felt the same way and I am still working on how I am going to continue stay afloat constantly feeling the loss.  I could write a book about how i have tried to endure and all I can say is "one minute at a time".  Only do what is right in front of you.  Every day, one minute at a time.  And be ok with whatever that is, because when loss hits that's all we can do.  Take care.

At 12:27pm on November 21, 2017, BLUEBELL said…

I am so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away Feb 14 of this year. I still grieve deeply for her. The holidays can be hard for all of us that have recently lost a loved one. Someone once said to mean "You honor someone when you grieve." I think he was trying to say it is okay and normal to grieve someone you loved very much. What I have learned through my loss and by participating  on this online grief support, is there is no timeline as to when your grief begins and ends. 

Hugs,

Bluebell

 
 
 

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