Kristian
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Kristian is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 6, 2020

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About Me:
I'm 31 yrs old. I identify as a straight male however I am ftm. I have a beautiful wife and two step children.
About my Loss:
My mother passed away just over three years ago. My mother was very sick. My mother was diagnosed with a familial disease called Primary Pulmonary Hypertension. She needed a double lung and heart transplant. At the time she was diagnosed she was already too sick to transplant. My mom lived ten years with her disease surpassing the estimated 4-6. My aunts and uncles/long time family friend's tell me my mother in her life just never caught a break. She lived through many unfortunate circumstances. She was a fighter, she was petite with the heart and temper of a lion. My mother stumbled a few times in life, as her Cubs we did feel the impact of each trip... While young and without understanding, while battling my way through a foster care system I felt confusion, sadness and resentment. As I grew older and having experienced personal tribulations of my own, with a grateful tone I found forgiveness and I mean the kind that lifts that weight from your shoulders. I was able to express it to my mother and take that weight once and for all off of her. The last four years of her life we became more close then ever before. She knew how much I loved her. I lived a distance from her and having started my own family I was not there the way I wish I would have been. There are many stories but ultimately Bim currently dealing with an incredibly, debilitating at times, horrific amount of guilt. I feel I know the common conception of her not wanting me to feel this way and that she wouldn't have wanted me to stop living ... There are no healing words thus far that eliminates what I'm feeling. Combined with experiencing her traumatic in hospital passing.. I have found myself to have slid down a slope into a whirling cloudy chaotic funnel of emotions and behaviors that I now present as my life. Common feelings of no one understanding and intense ups and downs are regular. I watched some videos on YouTube on grief and got the idea to join a group where ppl may relate on one level or another and so here I am. My ears, mind and heart are here if I am ever sought by someone else. Thoughts are with everyone here. Thanks for having me.
Kristian.S

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At 11:09pm on May 16, 2025, Erica Woodward said…

I need to have a word privately,Could you please get back to me on ( mrs.ericaw1@gmail.com)Thanks.

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Claire Dupont is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 18
Albiona Bendaj is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 4
Wendy Kalamar is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 1
Hannah joined Laura Rozier's group
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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
Jul 21
Hannah posted a discussion

Does anyone else feel pressure to always reply because you're afraid it'll be the last conversation?

Hi everyone. This is my first post here.I lost my brother in December 2024 to an accidental overdose. He passed away suddenly in his sleep. We were only a year and a half apart in age, and he was the closest person I've ever had.One thing I've been struggling with ever since is that I feel an overwhelming pressure to reply to texts and answer calls as soon as I can. If someone messages me and I don't respond right away, my mind starts thinking, "What if something happens to them before I reply?…See More
Jul 21
Profile IconHannah and Alyona joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 21
Willy replied to Rosa Guzmán's discussion Grandma sewing room
"Hi Rosa, First, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Losing someone you love only two days ago is incredibly painful, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling unsure about what to do right now. Personally, I don’t…"
Jul 5
Willy updated their profile
Jul 5

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