Krista
  • Banning, CA
  • United States
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About my Loss:
On September 28th of 2015 my mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and on December 6th of 2015 my whole world ended and I lost my Mommy, my Best Friend. She was my guiding light and I am so lost without her. I have 3 small children who I must care for, a husband who doesn't know how to ease my pain and a family who loves me dearly but I feel so alone in this world. My mommy was who I would cling to in time of despair and I always had comfort in knowing she was always there. She was someone I talked to on the phone 30 times a day, someone I planned my days with and living without her is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It feels like everything good is missing. Everything is different without her. I cry myself to sleep at night, I feel like my kids were cheated. She was only 50 years old, I am 27 and I need my mom every single day. I am literally depressed. I have that lump in my throat that never goes away and I have panic attacks when thinking of forever without her. I miss her smile, I miss her laugh, I miss her hugs, I miss her random text messages saying, "I love you babygirl." I miss her terribly. I miss her more everyday and it seems like everyday my heart hurts more than it did the day before. This isn't fair, she should be here! I watched her die, I was with her until she took her last breathe, I held her hand. Everything happened so fast. I took her to the doctor for a stomach ache in September and in December she was on her death bed. How does this happen. Why does this happen to good people. Why her? Why now? She had so much to live for. I am lost in this world, I don't even know who I am without her. Please help!

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