Karen Petrillo
  • Female
  • Paramus, NJ
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 55 years old and lost my dad february 4th. He was 88 years old and my best friend.
About my Loss:
my Dad and I were so close. we spent every Friday together and on Sundays My husband and I and my son would take my parents out for the day. My mother has Alzhiemers. Everyone tells me that at 88 he lived a good life and they are right but I can't seem to get past his death and missing him. I cry all the time and now its 2 months and the feelings are as raw as the day he died. I slept in the hospital with him for the last 21 days he was there. then we put him in a rehab right next door to my house. then we took him home on hospice and he died 2 days later. I was holding him from the time he came home till he died almost all the time. I just can't seem to move on. I feel like I have lost all my sense of security and that no one will love me like he did. people think because he was older that should make it easier and it doesn't. I spend a lot of time at the cemetery which is 5 minutes from my house. I am always planting flowers putting little knick knacks on his grave, watering the flowers. it brings me peace. the therapist think I shouldn't do it. It angers me for them to tell me everyone gets old and he was sick and they die. but damn it doesn't take the pain away. I cant get over the fact that I won't see him again hug him or talk to him anymore. I am also looking for a local grief support group. I need people who understand and not tell me to get over it. or its been 2 months already its not like its 2weeks. thats what the psychiatrist told me today. well she still has both her parents what does she know. everyone grieves differently and I can't help it I am having a really hard time with it.

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