John Braley
  • Male
  • Riverside, CA
  • United States
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John Braley is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 22, 2020

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About Me:
Im 53 years old retired at 45 to take care of my mum for the past 8 years. And I'm still doing this .
About my Loss:
Noivem at this time in my life caring for my mum who has declined severely since March 12. 2020 after being sent to hospital for lung spasms and rushing her by ambulance. And now watching her slip little by little from me has been the most unimaginable pain and hardest moment I truly have experienced in my life. I have experienced loss of a grandmother and that was hard as well and I still grive everyday she raised me but not the same as a mother's love. 24hrs 7 days a week cause we life in the same house. And she is my world , my best friend, my hero, my sunshine, and I have taken the commandment to honor thy Father and thy Mother very seriously. And Im not ready to see her go 8 years has not been enough I need more time and the bond we have I believe is stronger then any mother and son I know of I've been her caretaker with no time for anything and so many have said john you need to rest take care of yourself or else you won't be able to take of her. The hospice we have have been amazed at my devotion to my mum and many of the women have said its a rare thing for a son to be so devoted, sure its a compliment but that's not the whole point, the point is she gave me life and co raised me with grandma that its my turn to be there for her always and sure its killing me to see this, ppl see the stress and my face and hands breaking out and my grey hair turn all most white, and having two brothers that don't even call to find out about her or call period so I have told them your both dead to me and never in my life never want to see them again as long as I live. Mum I know wants to see them and I have apologized for their actions and she says johnny you don't need to apologize for them that I have made her happy and safe and very much loved.
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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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