I know it is so hard but you have to try to build a new life now...and it is awful...but you can take him with you hon... you wont be leaving him behind, ever.... it's ok to get up and live now..your husband would want that for you.. I dont know what you believe in and thats ok.. but if you happen to believe the soul goes on than you have to know that he is perfectly fine now....you will see him again... he wouldnt even been in your life in the first place if you werent ment to be together....try baby steps... do one tiny thing today that you havent been able to do since he has been gone.. just one small thing...it doesnt have to be huge. Try to write to him...and then in a few days read it then write back to yourself like you are him... what would he tell you?... then wait a day or two and read it... it works.