Jan
  • Erie, PA
  • United States
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About Me:
Just turned 50. 18 days later found my husband of 17 years dead. He was only 53. Now im all my children have. Ages 23, 16 & 12. I just dont believe it. We are all traumatized. We keep expecting to hear him in The house. Its so wrongly quiet. So tired of the what ifs and why didnt i's and if only and on and on and on and on!!!! God didnt do this. God and I kept him alive...willed him life for 5 1/2 years following his triple bypass. His heart was too damaged. We didnt know. We never expected this. We thought we had more time.
About my Loss:
Only 3 weeks ago i had my best friend, the keeper of my memories, the one who knew me, the one who loved me completely, the one who could hurt or love me like no other, the one i could count on. We had our problems like any others, but there was hope every day we opened our eyes. I feel like im going insane. This just isnt ok. I dont understand. This isnt fair to our children. In an instant, a split second, my whole world..me..our children and their world...turned upside down and spun out of control. No telling where or when or if our lives will ever come to rest. I dont know how to make this pain bearable.
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At 4:46pm on June 15, 2016, Jan said…
Day 54 of my new existence.........
 
 
 

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Profile IconDaisy adams and Wanda joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Wanda posted a status
"I lost my husband overnight that it happened so fast that I still can’t accept that he’s gone."
Friday
david karpe posted a status
"I'm wondering if Myrna is well. Happy new year to Myrna and everybody."
Jan 15
david karpe is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 15
Sasha Moshko posted a discussion

My Fathers Loss

Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
Jan 14
Sasha Moshko left a comment for Sasha Moshko
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Jan 14
MELANIE WALENDOWSKY BAKER is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Krystal Swinehart joined Jodi Denton's group
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Traumatic loss of an only child

I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Jan 12

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