Jack Scatena
  • Male
  • Wood Dale, IL
  • United States
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About Me:
I am 67 yrs old divorce male. I have 2 kids, Dan 31, who is deceases recently, and Katie, who will be 29. I was married for 34 yrs. Divorced in 2010. I am still working but plan to retire early 2018.
About my Loss:
Dan, my loving son, was a sweet and very intelligent person. He had a wonderful childhood up to about 16. He started to get passive aggressive, but never violent or never yelled, or swore. He got into drugs at 15 yrs old. We sought immediate help. Dan moved up to Heroin at age 17, btw after going to Outpatient services where he met someone there who turned him on to it. He was 17 then. He's been to many Rehabs, etc, and arrested for possession. He left for NY,in 2010 (his own idea) to live on the streets. During his stay with us ,our home turned from peaceful n loving to chaotic at best, but he had always a good heart, when not using. Fast forward, he lived on the streets in San Fran, we begged to come home as he got beaten up, and hurt a few times which required hospital stays and it was just so hard for him. Luckily his Mom worked for the airlines, and could see him and sometimes put him up in a nice hotel. We would both at times, sent him $$. He died by getting hit by a commuter train. God, did give me a gift. 3 hrs before his death, he called me. We talked, we said how much we missed each other, and told each other we loved each other. We talked about meeting up right after Christmas. He asked for money, but I said, in 7 days, because his Bday was in about 10 days, Nov 3rd. His Mom was going to be with him as well. I told him, to be careful out there, that was the last breath I heard as I said that to him.
He sounded sharp and alert. I know this was not a suicide, Who ask for money, and then to meet up, and he also went earlier to his Methadone clinic to get his meds to resist Heroin. So many things I thought I could of done, but I did, and he had so many chances, and yet, I still feel bad and guilty at times. I always gave him encouragement, and I had to live my life, "AS IF", else I couldn't smile or live. I learned that from my F/A meetings. Still the pain as I am sure all will attest is tough, and I am losing myself, which I assume is normal, yet I exercise and try my best. Ths - Jack. Missing him so much! I always thought though the odds were greatly against him, he might make it. We could never convince him to come home. He bailed out of more than a few rehabs, both he and I were disappointed but I told him don't lose faith. He wouldn't come back home, he was Afraid he would go to jail for a long time. I look even now for cures for heroin, that would have helped him, but its too late. I had to receive my sons ashes at my home, and that was tough, but nothing compare to never hearing or seeing him again.

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