Hayven Moses Williams
  • Male
  • Tacoma, WA
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 42 married 13 years Father of 3
About my Loss:
My Mother and I were very close,we had a rough life and over the last 10 years we got even closer. She had COPD and was having lots of trouble for the last few years. She always made me promise her that I would never let her be on life support.We used to laugh about if either one of us were ever so sick they had to wipe our butts and putting bows in our hair we'd make sure they'd take us off life support,a sick joke I know but that was us. My mother was hospitalized a month ago with pneumonia and before I got there they had already put her on support,they had to sedate her to allow the medicine to work. After 3 days they called and said they were gonna wake her up,I got to speak with her only for a bit before she was having trouble again. They had to put her under again and they Doctor called me and said after looking at her X-rays she wasn't going to get better and we had to start thinking about other options. I knew I had to take her off but How do you decide something like that? I was told but another doctor the same thing so I decided to do it. After 2 days they told me it was unethical and they wouldn't do it,I lost my cool and after an hour or so they brought in an ethics person and they changed their minds. That really made me second guess my decision and it's haunted me ever since. I loved her so much It was so hard seeing my Mother that had always been so tough like that. After she passed it was almost to much,I felt so guilty,I still do every day,I keep thinking what if I'd a let them keep her on the machine would she have come around,I'm so torn up about it.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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