Hi geneva thanks for writing. I too canot believe it I have to tell myself over and over and over. Lots of things are going over and over in my head. the sadness takes hold sometimes and it is more than I have ever felt in my life. there is guilt and there is nothing. you know all the guilt all the whatevers don't matter you can;t change a darn thing. that is very sad. where are you we are in KY. carrie L