Erika
  • Female
  • Milwaukee, WI
  • United States
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About Me:
16 and I'm hoping to find some closure with my Grandma.
About my Loss:
My Grandma raised me since I was a kid. My parents had issues so they split up and left me with her. Since then, she had been my friend, mother and grandmother. Anywhere she went, I went. Whatever she did, I did. The last few years before she died she had been really sick. She always talked about death, and how she wanted to be released from all the pain she was feeling.

When I found out my Grandma passed away I was in denial. When I saw her though, I knew it was real. At first I was devastated, and then nothing... We had to wait a month for her funeral, and during that month I was surprised at how sad I WASN'T. I expected to be crying every day, but I wasn't.

After my Grandma's funeral, I feel like reality finally hit me. My Grandma was a huge part of my life. We did everything together, and now that she's gone I feel like I have lost a part of myself. Everything I do reminds me of her... At first I was dealing with it okay. I know my priorities, and I know that she wouldn't want me to be like this. However, recently I've been very depressed about it. I've lost any and all motivation that I have for school, social stuff, and life in general.

I guess I'm writing this to find some sort of closure. I honestly feel like I've dug a hole for myself, jumped in it, and can't get out. I miss her so much, and I'm struggling to be strong and positive but it's so hard. Since she's passed away, my grades have been slipping. I know I need to fix it, and yet I'm not fixing it. I don't know why... Anyways, thank you for reading this! Sorry it was so long, and I'm really hoping I'll find some sort of closure here. Thank you.

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