Emily
  • Female
  • Schwarzach, Baden-Wuerttemberg
  • Germany
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Welcome, Emily

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About Me:
Well, where should I begin.
I was born in Hampton, Virginia and have lived in Newport News for most of my life. And every since I was six years old I have felt I was born in the wrong body. Biologically I was born a male, but my mind says other wise. All throughout my life I had felt alone with this and it caused me to feel lonely, so I decided to change it. One day in July 2009, I decided that I would go out and explore the rest of the world. Instead of merely leaving the state of Virginia I had left the country as well to go to Germany. The reason as to why? I had found a girl in Germany over the internet and I thought I could spend the rest of my life with her we had great times together and got married and had two children, but as I exposed my deepest secrets to her things got exponentially worse. We are scheduled for divorce in this year, and every time my children come to visit me they feel like visitors. She had brought another man into the house while we were married and he slept in the same bed as our children, I suppose she wanted to show me what a man looked like or acted like. Shortly after that I lost my job as an apprentice pastry chef and was forced to move out of our shared apartment after breaking my foot and having my mother die on mother day. Now I am stuck with all these thoughts the feeling of being worthless and too afraid to make the wanted change in my life as I fear no one will accept it.
About my Loss:
The biggest lost that greatly effects my mind is the lost of my mother. She was only 62 years old and she died on Mother's Day of this year. I was here in Germany I didn't even have a chance to tell her one last good bye or to hug her, to kiss her. It has been three years since I last saw her in person and now when i come back to the states I have only an urn to look at.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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