I'm so very sorry for your loss. I feel like I can relate to the pain that you feel. Its been nearly a year since my mother passed away. She was only 57 years old. Alcoholism is a terrible disease and I tried and tried to get her to take notice and stop drinking and she just wouldn't. By the time she realized the seriousness of the issue, she did stop drinking, it was too late. There was no reversing the damage that the alcohol had done. Sometimes I feel guilty as if I didn't do enough to get her to stop drinking. But I know I tried. And then sometimes I get angry thinking that she didn't care enough about me to listen and stop drinking. I have twin boys who will never remember their grandma. She passed away a month before they turned 1---that really hurts. I want her to see them and I wanted them see/know her. I try to not focus on what I've lost but try to remember everything that I still have left and that is what I'm thankful for. I pray that God will comfort and strengthen you.