Chris (NZealand),

33 years is a long history.  I had another person who lost her husband tell me once that losing our history is so much a part of what we lost.  We wrote that history with one person.  And now we are somehow supposed to write new history when all of that other was wiped away?  

I have found it impossible and at 64 I don't see the need for it but then I am glad for anyone who finds reason and the ways to do so if they want to.  

That you also lost your business, careers and pets before your husband died is enough.  For you to have lost your husband and to be alone now is just torture.  

I can only say to come here and you will find people who can share your pain.  We are all here for each other.

morgan