Chris Devereux
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  • perth
  • Australia
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About Me:
I am a 63 year old widow, with an autistic child and three other kids with their own sadnesses and life ordeals.
About my Loss:
I was widowed 3 years ago. My husband died of cancer. I had to soldier on. There was really no time for really grieving; no time to stop and think... not that I wanted to. It was just too painful. On top of the loss of my husband, my family was falling apart in a dramatic and heart breaking way, I needed to sell the home which was old and huge. Then buy another, and renovating to make it liveable.

Once the urgency was gone, I found all sorts of stuff was upsetting me, especially looking at photos of the departed. It slowly dawned on me that I was finally beginning to grieve properly. To allow myself to feel. Allow myself to think. Allow myself to cry.

I logged onto this site as I think I need to understand what is"normal" for a widow. And to be able to unburden. Cant to my kids. Don't feel free to say much to friends. They either don't get it or don't know how to handle me. And I don't want to drive them away when o most need others. Oh God I am lonely and sad, and depressed. And sometimes quite overwhelmed with all that runs around in my head.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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