Greetings Caitlin. I am sorry for your pain over the loss of your baby cousin. I am suffering over the loss of my 21 yr old son about 14 months ago. People who have never suffered such a traumatic loss, do NOT understand our devastation. When you lose someone you cherish, whether they are still in their mother's womb or they are 100 yrs old, does NOT ease the pain. My anger only grows when people ask me if I am "better" yet! Losing my son has made me more inclined to express my true feelings, I longer worry about making others feel uncomfortable. So when someone asks me how am I doing, I tell them......I'm horrible, I'm tormented, I'm broken, I'm f@cked up! If they really do not want to know , don't ask! I feel pissed off that the world is going on without my son. No one can tell you how or how long you are "allowed" to grieve. Maybe one day we will be able to accept what happened and learn to live with it, well at least that what other sufferers have told me. Unfortunately, I am not there yet and don't know if I ever will be. Don't hide your feelings.