Brian loesche
  • Male
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
Share on Facebook MySpace
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos

Gifts Received

Gift

Brian loesche has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Brian loesche's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
I’m 35 n struggled to take car of my ill mom with cirrhosis stage 4 n cancer stage 4 for almost 2 years. I tried my best, but we ended up homeless, and my dad bought her a ticket back to family in California arroyo grande, I took her to all her dr appointments, and did it all alone beside a little income from her we. My mom had gran nap seizures nearly everyday, it was hard and has changed my life, and I’m in a bad place. My mom mom is free of pain and she suffered everyday, I’m glad she is free of pain. In recent months I rigged myself back to working and have my own place, n I just wanted to see her one last time, her tumor spread and she started becoming scared, she felt alone, she left me 4 last voicemails day before she passed, and I was at work and missed them, I called her right back after work n I couldn’t reach her, she expressed her love and she sounded in so much pain, we battled this since 2010. My last conversation on Saturday the day before she called me and I messed it was a beautiful conversation. I’m trying to turn to god but our family is broken, and I have so much guilt of wanting to do better for her, she deserved more love n for me to make her happy during th last of her times, my mom battled over 20 ailments, N was the strongest woman I know. I feel now horrible about myself and cry for her every night wanting to join my mama bear. I wish I had someone to talk to . During me helping her and getting her off the streets when my dad kicked her out while she was dying I picked her up and was there for her when no one was. I need comfort and I don’t think I can get thrown th this, my dad felt bad so he put her cremation on his credit card, but now we r all broke n can’t even be together to spread her ashes. My memory of every night listening to breath through her door to make sure she’s alive haunts me, I feel empty and a void has consumed me. I love you mom
About my Loss:
Loss my mother of cirrhosis n stage 4 liver cancer, in the end she was so scared , her last words to me was don’t ever say we won’t see each other again.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I use to be an emt and worked for city and county of Honolulu

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Claire Dupont is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 18
Welcome Them!
Albiona Bendaj is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 4
Welcome Them!
Wendy Kalamar is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 1
Welcome Them!
Hannah joined Laura Rozier's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
Jul 21
28 Comments
Hannah posted a discussion

Does anyone else feel pressure to always reply because you're afraid it'll be the last conversation?

Hi everyone. This is my first post here.I lost my brother in December 2024 to an accidental overdose. He passed away suddenly in his sleep. We were only a year and a half apart in age, and he was the closest person I've ever had.One thing I've been struggling with ever since is that I feel an overwhelming pressure to reply to texts and answer calls as soon as I can. If someone messages me and I don't respond right away, my mind starts thinking, "What if something happens to them before I reply?…See More
Jul 21
0 Comments
Profile IconHannah and Alyona joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 21
Willy replied to Rosa Guzmán's discussion Grandma sewing room
"Hi Rosa, First, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Losing someone you love only two days ago is incredibly painful, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling unsure about what to do right now. Personally, I don’t…"
Jul 5
Willy updated their profile
Jul 5

© 2026   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service