Hi Brian, I extend my genuine concerns to you, I share similar pain. Going out is also very difficult for me, it seems like I really do not want to engage in life anymore. In the beginning, I used to go out  at night.... it seems to be little better for me..If you need to cry, speak to her loud... do so....And may be think of what your beloved would like you to be...try it. take care... Last Breaths