Beth, You are hurting and need someone to talk to and I hope you find someone because understanding death and suicide is a pretty heavy burden for someone at 16.  I wouldn't presume to be that person but you need to take someone into your confidence and explain to them how you are struggling with how your brain is not accepting the circumstances.  Please talk to a counselor or family/friend, someone who will listen and someone you can trust.  Do it today....there is help out there but no one can read your mind and you are ready to get the help by just asking on here.  Find someone local.........and take care.