Barbro Lindblom
  • Female
  • Capitola, CA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am Swedish. I moved to US with my husband 33 years ago at the age oh 33. Live in California.
Retired. Painting is my hobby.
About my Loss:
My husband died on October 4 by using the End of Life drug that became law in California in June of 2016.We had been together for 43 years. He had a neuro muscular disease that progressed slowly over the last 5 years. At the end he couldn't walk, had problems swallowing, using his hands and talking. We had caregivers twice a day. I thought I was prepared for his death and being alone but it turned out not to be the case. Even though we had time to express our love before his death I find myself going over the many things I could have done better, how I should have been kinder, more loving. But these last years were so hard and stressful that my love and kindness often was overshadowed by my stress. This feeling and thoughts of guilt taints the pure feeling of loss and sadness and makes me depressed.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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