Hi Barbara,

I am saddened by your loss. I lost my mother 2 weeks ago to cancer. She went so quickly. I am feeling we all comfort each other on this site and I am very much here for you as much as you need me to be. I have 2 sisters who don't want anything to do with me. They say they can't give me what I need?????? Talk about dysfunction. You were blessed with the love of your brother. Mom was all I had left. She was a gentle and lovely person who I adored. I refuse to allow myself to be angry because she is no longer suffering. But I am angry that she destroyed her body by smoking cigarettes. She quit 20 years ago and it came back and ravaged her little body. I know you, me and all of the others on the site have a gigantic hole in our hearts. Nothing can replace it. I just find a reason to make it through each day that brings me closer to my departure from this planet. I have my faith that I will be with Mother again. Otherwise ....what is it all about? Huggs Sue

Hi Barbra. Just saw your post. So simple but so true. I feel exactly the same way. It's so much better when I just let myself live with a level of disbelief. My brain doesn't want to accept it and I'm not going to force it.
I moved into a new apartment yesterday and it made me so sad because my brother would have been so excited and enthusiastic, saying how "awesome" everything is.
But I also thought of his laugh the other day and actually smiled thinking of it, without even realizing. It was the first time I thought of something like that without tears in my eyes.
Therapy and medication really help!

Hi Barbra. I'm so glad you reached out. I know there is no way I can make it through this alone.