Ashley Gatehouse
  • Female
  • Newfoundland
  • Canada
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About Me:
i am a mother of 2 handsome little boys ages 12 and 5 who keep me going.i love to be with friends watch tv and try to be a good person
About my Loss:
i lossed my grandmotehr is this past january on my brothers birthday to be exact.she was like a mother to me when my mother wasnt.she cared and thaught the world over my boys..i spent months in the hospital with her she had good days and bad days i faught to get her answers to her illness that i never did explain really how do u tell someone the dying seriously though.i was there the morning she died tahnkfully but i can not get it out of my head and i miss her so much i feel like there is an emptyness that i can not ignore.i talk to her wishing she could give me a sign she is ok..she has other family but it was just me by her side at all times though her illness she had liver failure. even though i knew what was going on i never did try to tell her what was going on with her which i wish i did.seems like everyone else moved on but i can not theres time i watch tv and i cry if i see anything resembleing what i went though.i can still see her face when she passed and i imagine what she felt i told her it was ok to go but i didnt mean it.i did see a counserlor but to be honest that was useless...i went to her funeral did not cry.the only time i cried was in the hospital room when she passed.i felt numb after that and which i still do now.i wonders what is wrong with me.everyone else has moved on her son got engaged and all and me will im pretending to everyone that im the same person but really this expeirence has changed me and i dont know if i will ever be the same anymore.

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