Ashley
  • Female
  • Frankfort, OH
  • United States
Share on Facebook MySpace
  • Blog Posts
  • Discussions
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Photo Albums
  • Videos

Gifts Received

Gift

Ashley has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Ashley's Page

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm 27, recently lost my fiance unexpectedly, we have a beautiful 5 month old daughter & without her Im not sure were I would be. I'm greiving because he was my soulmate, I didn't get to say goodbye. I keep thinking I could have changed it & saved him, if only I done this or that. Just over two months ago I got the worst phone call of my life & the horrifying news that he was gone. I couldnt believe it. He was staying at his stepmoms while he looked for a place. I was at my parents which was two hours away with the baby. We stayed a few weeks before & I came back to tie up lose ends & get ready to move, while he worked & looked for a place. He had just got out of rehab in may 1st. Had Stayed three months for drug abuse & counseling for other issues. He was sure he would stay away from drugs & had me & everyone else convinced as well. He seemed content finally with his past & full of life. Had a few health issues unadressed, but he was the type to bear it & say he was ok until he couldnt take it anymore. So june 20th i woke up to the worst news of my life. I lost part of myself that day as well. I will never b the same. In a state of panic, i was running around the house histerical, feeding the baby her bottle & hoping to wake up from this nightmare. I had texted him up until 3am, telling him he needed sleep, he had to get up at 5am. For work on the other hand i missed him & didnt want to say goodnight. I had a saddish gut feeling & even texted him a sad face for no reason behind it, I just missed him. I was in tune i guess subconsiously i knew something wasnt right. He had mixed emotions that day. He was highly ticked after work that day, due to recieving the news about having to work the fourth. Him being a proud vetran it didnt sit well with him. He complained about lack of sleep the night before & had worked 12 hours. Still he wasn't sleeping after a long hard day. But his mood at the end of the day suddenly had changed, he seemed relaxed but in high spirits, he even managed after work to find a house for us that evening & we would b moving up on the first of July. Sadly to say expectedly he did not wake up that morning. So within hours of texting him I got a call he was gone. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I tried to make it up to see him but the hosp. had to release his body. I made it up a few hours later & still in disbeif about him being gone.... gone forever, my soulmate who had been content with himself & so full of life the past months... we had the future ahead of us & I coukdnt wait for us three to be a family like we needed. I kept waiting for him to show up to call to TXt. I refused to believe it, I didn't see him until a week later, in the casket. With so many questions & no answers. I was lost, confused, heart broken. Our two year anniversary was two days after his death. Why? 32 years old & 4 young children. He was a great friend to everyone & had a heart of gold, had been thru so much &
Was overcoming it. He had my heart, when he hurt I hurt. I loved him dearly & tried to be his rock as much as I could. I knew I wouldnt love another & our love surpassed all, it was true. And he's gone, just like that. Taken away from us, from me, from his family & friends. We're left here to bear this world without him. We were in constant contact & I am now just here waiting this life out. I'm living for our daughter & she is my happiness now. All my heart & soul put into us & now its like I woke up from my dream & now it's a nightmare. He's in my dreams everynight & I know he's watching over us & his presense will forever be with me.
About my Loss:
His autopsy came back last week, cause of death herion toxicity, accidental. It took one bad day & show knows were he got it, possibly an old friend? But knowing won't bring him back. I want to know why, but only he knew his pain. The autopsy also showed two blockages 70% aortic blockage. The other 50%, which now I know what cause his chest pain. He was a vet & was untreated this was unknown until now even after several trips to the va about the pain. So he self medicates is my guess. I really thought he would never resort to drugs again esp. Herion had no idea :( I knew his history but this was heart breaking. I don't know why people resort to it unless he had unbearable pain & the doctors refued to figure out why... so he self medicates, I will never know why. Its hard to believe this was meant to be.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I'm an LPN

Comment Wall

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

  • No comments yet!
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Louis updated their profile
Nov 24
Louis is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 20
Marisol Delgado is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 13
Marcus Delgado updated their profile
Nov 11
Marcus Delgado posted a discussion

My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
Nov 11
Milan updated their profile
Oct 30
Milan is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 29
J’Lyn Wilson posted a photo

IMG_3163

My dad was the best human I’ve ever known.
Oct 27

© 2025   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service